Logo The Porn ConversationThe Porn Conversation

A project offering tools for parents to teach the younger generations about porn

Every day it’s more difficult to have control over what our kids are watching online. They are exposed to visual depictions of sex at very early ages. We think that prohibition and shame is not the answer, instead we believe in education and conversation. By choosing to shed light on the debate about online pornography , we are campaigning for more equipped and alert young beings, who are ready to make better choices; driven by knowledge, and not by fear.

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Facts

1/3 of all internet traffic is porn

It’s very likely that your kids are going to stumble upon porn

Porn is today’s sexual education

Kids and teenagers search for porn when they are curious about sex

Porn is unavoidable

Red tubes and online free porn sites are only one click away

Young children are watching porn

At as young as 9, kids are accidentally stumbling across adult content

Our mission

The Porn Conversations offers tools for parents to use to instigate the talk at home. Our mission is to give adults the opportunity to help kids and teens make smart and informed decisions regarding pornography. Today we need more than sex education at school - we need parents to have the porn conversation.

Get you talking with your kids and teens

Porn can confuse teens about how sex connects with sensuality and relationships, often separating sex from emotions. It also gives teens unrealistic expectations about how to look and act. We need you to show them that sex is a lot more complex than what they see online.

Encourage you to teach, not criticise

It's key when you talk to your kids about sex and porn that you encourage understanding rather than just telling them not to watch it - because if you do that, they'll never talk to you about it.

Provide you with guides for having the talk

We provide ideas and information for you to start a positive and educational conversation, including different documents for different age groups. And we believe the best people to educate your kids is you. We feel that through our experience we can offer some guidance.

Who are we?

xxx

Erika Lust & Pablo Dobner

Hi there! We are Erika Lust (Stockholm, 1977) and Pablo Dobner (Buenos Aires, 1970), a married couple living in Barcelona with our two beautiful daughters aged 6 and 9. Back in 2005 we started a production company to innovate the chauvinistic world of porn, creating content that is sex positive and relevant for women. We were concerned about women and couples not being able to find ethical adult cinema, so we decided to do it ourselves! Now we own a successful company and Erika Lust Films is the vanguard of smart, feminine and feminist erotic cinema.

However, now we are worried about something new: the easy access to crappy porn and horrible sites that kids and teenagers have. Kids are stumbling across porn at as young as 9 or 10 years old - and we need to take action. We've realised this can't be solved by banning bad porn, in the same way banning drugs hasn't helped in society either.

But we can teach, we can talk, we can make our kids aware and critical. So we are starting this project to help parents and teachers talk about online pornography with their kids and teens.

Don't be afraid, have #theporntalk with your daughters and sons. The sooner the better.

Erika and Pablo

Educational tools

Parents, teachers, educators, take action! If you are ready to have the talk but you have no clue about what to say, here are three guides to help you.

For kids
under 11 years old
view and download
For teens
between 11 and 15 years old
view and download
For teens
over 15 years old
view and download

Resources

We have gathered videos and articles that will help you learn more about porn and the impact that it’s having today on the younger generations. If you find other interesting videos or articles, please share them with us at talk@thepornconversation.org

Videos

It's time for porn to change; Erika Lust; by TEDxVienna

Erika Lust speaks at TEDxVienna on the effects of mainstream pornography, worrying about her own children and why porn needs to change to protect the younger generations.

watch video
Better Porn: by The School Of Life

The School of life gives an articulate and nuanced view on the problems of mainstream pornography for adolescents and why banning it won't work, but making it better will.

watch video
Brought Up On Porn: by BBC Newsbeat

Documentary on young people and their views and experiences of porn, and how it has affected the way they choose to look and behave.

watch video
the Porn Brain our new Sex Educator?; Yana Tallon-Hicks; TEDxViennaSalon

Yana Tallon-Hicks is a pleasure-positive sex writer & educator who teaches consent-based sex education & sexual pleasure workshops. Here she explores what sexual stories our Porn Brains tell us and how do these stories both positively & negatively impact our real-life experiences.

watch video
view more videos

Articles

The Pool
The mother’s guide to porn and why it’s essential to tell our kids about it

Sali Hughes, 2016

read more
The Pool
As a parent of teen boys, how do I deal with the problem of pornography?

Lucy Dunn, 2016

read more
NSPCC
40% of teenage girls pressured into having sex

2015

read more
Fight The New Drug
Sex Before Kissing: How 15-Year-Old Girls Are Dealing With Porn Addicted Boys

2016

read more
The Guardian
Porn as sex education: a cultural influence we can no longer ignore

Maree Crabbe, 2016

read more
The Guardian
Students turn to porn for sex education

Abby Young-Powell, 2015

read more
The Guardian
Sex education without porn is not sex education

Rhiannon Lucy Cosslett, 2015

read more
The Guardian
Most boys think online pornography is realistic, finds study

Sandra Laville, 2016

read more
The New York Times
How to Talk to Your Kids About Pornography: Parents’ Stories and Expert Advice

Amy O’Leary

read more
The Guardian
How Porn Is Damaging Our Children’s Future Sex Lives

Joanna Moorhead, 2016

read more
The New York Times
So How Do We Talk About This?: When Children See Internet Pornography

Amy O’Leary, 2012

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The Establishment
Why isn't pornography part of sex education for teens?

Nicole Guaponne, 2016

read more
The Guardian
Porn belongs in the classroom, says Danish professor

Helen Russell, 2015

read more
The Guardian
Teaching pupils to make sense of pornography

Letter from Sarah Griffiths, head of wellbeing, Dulwich College

read more
The Guardian
'Any boy who tells you that he hasn't seen porn is lying. Porn changes what you expect from girls',

Akin Ojumu, 2014

read more
Mic
Schools in France will now use a 3D clitoris model in sex-ed courses

Leigh Cuen, 2016

read more
The Mamasutra
Porn and Realism

Dr. Lanae St. John, 2016

read more
The Mamasutra
What to do if your child has been exposed to porn

Dr. Lanae St. John, 2016

read more
read more articles

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